


Reflect

by Anonymous



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mirror Sex, Pet Play, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Self-Esteem Issues, Trans Gordon Freeman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Gordon has self esteem issues so Benrey makes him feel better.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 144
Collections: Anonymous





	Reflect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scriptdoctors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scriptdoctors/gifts).



> First off, please don't read this if you're under 18 and do not wish to read HLVRAI nsfw. Do not send this to the crew or anyone who doesn't want it. 
> 
> Second, please don't ask who I am. I don't want to be known. Thank you.
> 
> Based off a mirror ask I sent Scriptdoctors. Enjoy.

Gordon liked loose clothing. A baggy t-shirt, a large hoodie, sweatpants, and comfy socks with his hair up. That was his idea of fashion. It hid his imperfections. Scars, stretchmarks, his pudge. These were all hidden from the world. He especially felt self conscious of how he looked with his hair down or if he smiled too much. With his hair down it felt exposed, vulnerable, and he was nothing like those who looked good with hair up or down. At least it was easier to maintain in a ponytail. And with his slightly bucked teeth, he couldn't count how many times he's had to keep straight faces or put his hand up to hide his mouth when laughing or smiling.

Right now, sitting on the couch watching something that Benrey put on for shits and giggles, Gordon wasn't really paying attention to the confusing plot. Lots of intrusive thoughts instead invaded his mind. 'I wish I looked like that guy', 'maybe I'd be cuter if I were smaller or less scratched up looking', 'Benrey must wish he'd be with someone a lot more fit', 'I probably look like shit compared to anyone', 'why can't I be as pretty or perfect as these guys'. All these thoughts circulated in his mind before he heard Benrey's voice cut through them.

"Hm- What-What'd you say, Ben?" Benrey gave him a raised brow, his yellow eyes staring at him.

"i asked if you were alright, dude. you look like something is like, uh, like fuckin… botherin you." Gordon only shook his head. 

"No- No. I'm good. Honest. Just uh… thinking."

"... about…?"

"Just uh…" Gordon rubbed the back of his neck. "Just thinking about how I need to probably uh… work out more I guess? Get in better shape? You know what I mean?" Gordon hoped the half truth would be enough, not really wanting to vent to his boyfriend his self esteem issues. Benrey loved him, that should be enough. Maybe Gordon didn't love himself, but that shouldn't be all on Benrey. He was fine with just keeping that a Gordon problem.

Benrey only stared at Gordon though with those piercing yellow eyes as if he were reading the smaller man. The ones that would put him to his knees in seconds, where their passion would lead to lust. Where Gordon would submit himself to Benrey's doing, the discreet leather collar under his shirt evident enough of his loyalty as Benrey's pet. It had been a little strange and honestly humiliating at first for Gordon when they first started trying out the pet play. But soon enough he found himself enjoying being Benrey's pet. They didn't go way too extreme, but a leash and collar along with petting and encouraging praise did just enough to make Gordon submit.

But right now that's not what the eyes did. Instead Benrey stared at him for a few seconds, seeming to expect Gordon to say something else before answering. "i... guess so, yeah. i mean, gym shorts are hot."

… Ah. So Benrey agreed. Gordon could be better.

That's fine. If that's what Benrey wanted.

_

A few nights later when Gordon came home from work, he couldn't have felt more relieved that it was Friday. Being the new theoretical physics teacher at the University wore him the fuck out. Somehow he'd still found a way to use his degree after the destruction of Black Mesa. Of course being a teacher wasn't part of his plan but hey. It brought money home and paid the mortgage and bills. He couldn't complain. 

Loosening his tie and taking his shoes off, he called out into the house to bring awareness of his presence. "Benrey? You here? I'm home!"

Silence answered back. Gordon sighed. Benrey must be over at Tommy's or picked up an extra shift at his job in GameStop. That's fine. Gordon stretched and set his bag down by the couch, planning to grade essays tomorrow when he wasn't fried from work. Right now, a good change into comfier clothes sounded good. When he reached the bedroom door and opened it, he nearly jumped and made a yelp seeing Benrey sitting on the edge of the bed.

In his boxers only to top it off.

The room was dimly lit with the lamps in their bedroom and Benrey's yellow eyes. Eyes that looked hungrier with each passing second. Gordon shut the door behind him. "Uh… Hey?"

"sup."

"I thought you weren't home when you didn't answer." Gordon could see the black pupils dilate a bit wider as Benrey grinned.

"surprise then, babe." Gordon just stood with his back against the door, not wanting to move and see where this was (hopefully) leading. When Benrey lifted his hand to eye level and curled his index finger in a motion to come closer Gordon felt his spine shiver with a sharp electrical sensation traveling to his core. This alone was already making him half hard. He was practically on autopilot when walking towards the man in front of him. As soon as he reached Benrey, the larger man started to unbutton Gordon's shirt. Painstakingly slow. 

"y'know gordon… i've been thinkin' just about how good you look under me. the way you writhe, how fucking gorgeous your face looks when you're all red. like a uh, like a fuckin tomato." Gordon raised his brow at the comparison. But it wasn't his main concern as Benrey finally unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it to the side. Benrey was undoing Gordon's pants as well when Gordon finally spoke up.

"What's all this about sud-" But a light but rough tug on the leather collar stopped him from finishing. That shouldn't have made him as hard as it did.

"did i say you could interrupt? no, i didn't. good boys listen, feetman. so are you gonna continue to interrupt me and refuse to be a good boy or can i continue?" Gordon snapped his mouth shut and Benrey grinned, finally taking waistband of the pants and shoving them down, boxers and all. "good boy. now back to the subject."

Gordon kicked off the slacks to join his shirt before Benrey continued. A large hand gripped his hip while the other lightly traveled along Gordon's slit, it's slickening sensation causing the smaller man to gasp and hold onto the larger one's shoulders for support. God it felt so good already. Gordon wanted Benrey to put his fingers in him already. As he continued to tease at the entrance, Gordon rocked his hips slightly in an effort to add any friction trying not to fuck himself on those fingers. He had to be good after all. Benrey grinned darkly as he removed his hand from Gordon's waist to hold and tug on the collar until they were face to face.

"as i was saying… i was thinking, since i never actually get to see your face when i fuck that pretty l'il ass of yours, why don't we try somethin'. Hmm?" Gordon nodded furiously. Yes, yes! Anything for Benrey. Perhaps they were trying a new position. Perhaps Gordon was possibly going to be on top? Who knew. It was Benrey and he didn't care. "alrighty then. stand up."

What.

Confused, Gordon stood up obediently and gave Benrey room to do what he needed. The larger man stood and took the smaller one's hand. He led Gordon a couple steps towards…

Oh. 

Oh fuck.

The dresser and mirror. So that's what he meant.

Gordon went to say something but Benrey only raised his brow cockily at him and grinned. Oh God Gordon's face was heating up fast. He had to keep himself from looking at his reflection. "step right on up, babe. and don't look away from the mirror. yourself for that matter. got it?"

"... Alright." Gordon was hesitant as he walked up to the second hand dresser and mirror and rested his hands on top of the dresser's surface. His reflection stared back at him and he wanted to cringe so much. 

He never really used this mirror for anything other than occasionally seeing if he was properly dressed for an occasion or if he needed to fix his hair. This? This was never on the list. It was one thing Benrey had to look at him during sex, it was another when he had to look at himself. His ponytail sat almost undone on his shoulders and his stomach standing out to him among the scars and the stretchmarks. As he reached the edge of the dresser, echoes of lifelong comments and nasty shit said to him throughout his child and teenhood reverberated in his brain.

Insults, laughter, teasing, criticism. Everything came spiraling in him. Everything from comments about how he needed to lose weight to how he looked like some animal with his slight buck teeth. But he couldn't look away from his reflection. He had to listen to Benrey. He had to be good. He wanted to look away from his reflection so bad. What the fuck did Benrey even see in him? All Gordon saw was how he wished he could change. He wanted to be someone different. Someone prettier, someone who didn't laugh hard enough to snort, someone who was leaner. Someone who was-

Thoughts were interrupted when Gordon felt Benrey's hand was on his back and a slight shiver ran up his spine. Right. They were getting ready to fuck.

"so perfect…" Benrey's low voice seemed to rumble as the other hand explored his side and traveled along his stomach. Gordon's face was reddening more and more as he watched in the mirror what Benrey was doing. The hand on his stomach explored his stomach and it was hot to the touch. The hand on his back left as the larger man closed the space between the. His chest was against Gordon's back and Gordon watched as he rested his chin on his freckled shoulder. "such a pretty pet i have… look at you being so good for me."

"Mmm…" Gordon slightly whined and rocked against Benrey's hips. He could feel Benrey start to get harder against his ass as his large hand lowered from his stomach to his trail. Teasing him and practically torturing him as the hand got slower and slower the closer it got to where Gordon wanted him to touch. Large fingers found themselves on his dick and Gordon let out a long moan. Pleasurable wave after wave set his core on fire with each delicious stroke. In his reflection Gordon could see his face growing redder. He would glance every once and a while to Benrey's own, noting how the larger being was darkly watching Gordon's face.

An almost dark and evil looking grin spread across Benrey's face as he sped up his strokes on Gordon's dick. Gordon gasped, trying so hard to keep his lidded eyes on his reflection. Benrey leaned down until his chin was resting on Gordon's shoulder, his breath fanning the smaller one's ear causing him to shiver with a shaky sigh. "that's right, pet… that's it. such a good boy, gordon. look at you being so obedient for me. so beautiful. look at you. god you're so- you're practically a masterpiece."

Underneath the praise and pleasure, Gordon's moans grew louder. He could see his brows involuntarily furrow as he watched himself getting close, grinding his ass up against Benrey's crotch right where he could feel the rock hard erection. Damn it why couldn't he just fuck him already. He needed it, he craved it. If it weren't for the dresser's surface Gordon was sure he would've fallen over. Panting hard, unintelligible words fell from his mouth as he was nearing the peak. 

"Benrey, Benrey-" But before he could finish, the touch was gone. Gordon growled in annoyance and turned his head to Benrey. "Why the everloving fuck did you stop, asshole-"

Gordon's mouth snapped shut when he realised why Benrey stopped. Oh. Oh his boxers were coming off. And that wonderful cock was free from its prison. Benrey grinned down at Gordon when noticing the smaller man was staring. "did i say you could look away from the mirror?"

Gordon shook his head. "N… No sir."

"then keep your eyes on it." Gordon nodded with a small 'yes sir' before looking back at his reflection.

He already looked flushed as hell itself. The way his hair was already a mess, his pupils already seeming to hide the green of his eyes. His legs spread just for Benrey's use as he was bent over. Gordon almost thought he looked good for a moment. But that thought shut itself off as soon as he felt the tip of Benrey's dick tease his cunt's entrance. His breath hitched as he felt the need to be fucked overtake him. The large former security guard's hands grabbed his hips and dug nails into them. Gordon let out a breathy needy sigh as words started fumbling out from his lips. 

"Oh God, please Ben- Benrey please!" 

"please what? tell me what you need."

"Please fuck me. Please make me scream, sir, please!" Gordon pleaded, with his forehead against the wood of the dresser. Strings of Benrey's name and pleas escaped him as he felt Benrey's dick slowly in a torturing pace only let the head in. He tried to push up against Benrey to push inside him further but the grip on his hips was strong. Unmoving as Benrey growled.

"not until you look at yourself. do it and i'll give you what you want." Gordon only nodded and slowly looked up at his reflection. He didn't have time to react before he felt Benrey shove himself into Gordon, ripping a moaning scream out of him. He fumbled to grip the dresser for further support. Benrey was now leaning over his back once more and panting as he started a slow pace. 

"good- ahh, good boy. such a good pet listening to your friend benrey. such a pretty pet i have. so perfect. you're so perfect, gordon. d'you know that?" Gordon could only shake his head as Benrey's pace started to pick up. His eyes widened slightly as his moans started getting higher pitched. Benrey let out a shaky and breathy but weak laugh. 

"haah… of course you didn't. i know you don't. that l'il mit brain of yours can't process how i see you. that's why- oh fuck- that's why i'm gonna fuck it into you… make you realise how fucking gorgeous you are. how fucking sexy you look. can't get enough of you. gonna- gonna make you see what i see- shiiiiiit, gordon!" Benrey's head threw back a bit on a particularly long and deep moan.

Benrey's hand reached under Gordon's knee and lifted the leg up onto the dresser thrusting harder and deeper. Gordon's eyes widened and he let out a high keen as Benrey hit the spot that always made him see stars. With each thrust Gordon let out a high noise and watched as his reflection revealed that his chest and face were completely flushed. Oh yeah. He definitely could see what Benrey meant by sexy he had to admit. The sight of himself getting dicked down by Benrey made his own cock twitch painfully. Luckily Benrey knew exactly what Gordon wanted and reached down to take his dick in his fingers.

Gordon was so fucking close. Being edged earlier from the stimulation didn't help and he was feeling his walls clench hard around Benrey's member. Benrey's own pants and moans almost over rid his words. "you close, huh pet? you close to cumming for me, my pretty little toy? close to cumming on my fat gamer cock? pretty fuckin' gay bro. but i know it's what you want, dontcha? yeah you fuckin' do. you wanna watch your face as much as i do when you cum for me."

"Benrey- Benrey, sir, please let me cum! Please, sir, please! I want to do exactly that please!" Gordon could feel tears prick at the corners of his eyes from the pain of needing to release. Benrey let out a dark chuckle.

"cum for me then, gordon." And once Benrey bit his shoulder that was it for Gordon. A high scream escaped his throat as his walls fluttered against Benrey's dick. The satisfaction of being fucked and natural high caused a mix of Benrey's name and thank you's to spill from Gordon. Benrey groaned and thrusted a few more times before he followed. 

Once both of them came down from the euphoria, leaving them in pile of panting messes, Gordon felt Benrey pull out slowly and steadily. Body fluids followed suite as Benrey turned Gordon to face him. Gordon looked up at Benrey through lidded eyes before they both shared a deep kiss. A moan escaping Gordon into Benrey's mouth as he wrapped his arms around the large man. Benrey lifted up Gordon in a bridal style once the kiss had broken to bring them both to the bed. 

Wrapping their arms around each other, Gordon nuzzled up against Benrey's chest with a content sigh and looked up to face him. Benrey started to play with his hair as he returned the smile and gave another kiss to Gordon's lips. The physicist's hand reached up to Benrey's cheek, his thumb slowly running along the cheekbone. "... Did you really mean what you said, by the way? About me being pretty and perfect and such?"

Benrey grinned. "fuck yeah i did, bro. you seemed down about yourself the other day so i decided that was like, totally unpog. then i thought 'well if he won't believe me if i say it normally, why not just fuck it into him'. cause bro, bro. you're like, fucking hot. and so cool."

Gordon let out a small laugh as he kissed Benrey's nose. "Thank you. It really helped."

"no problem. i love you, gordon. i love you so damn much."

"I love you too, Benrey. So so much."


End file.
